Lee: ” I hope none of us get altitude sickness in Tahoe”
Me: ” I will bring my oxygen machine”
Lee: ” WTF”
Me: ” I saw it in sky mall. I couldn’t resist.”
Daniel just sent pictures of the new bar in the Ukraine. My god its beautiful. They always do such a nice job. This is when I wish there was teleportation. Beam right to the opening.
There is a forest fire somewhere in the vicinity of Tahoe. Supposedly it wont effect the Tough Mudder. Working on Mexico a little bit today. Let’s see what happens.
Why can’t I just go shopping and drink martinis like most adult women? All these competitions are killing me. 1. My body always aches 2. It’s becoming a job organizing training, events, and nutrition ( Hell no , I am not giving up wine) 3. I am hemorrhaging money. For the last month I have been obsessed with finding the perfect sports bra. I have bought no less then 20 in the last month hoping to find one that is the true big breasted woman’s savior in the triathlon. Sadly, I am still searching.

Kiev Coyote Ugly opening. How exciting!! I will go there in September. The american staff should be there by now. Can’t wait for Daniel to report back. Good luck Kiev!!!
Tough Mudder this Saturday. Its going to be a fun group going there.

Congrats Ernie on your brand new son, Samuel. A beautiful family.
Back to work. Kevin and I found a great spot in San Diego for Coyote. Lets see if we can nab this one before someone else does.
I am confused by the managers saying ” great night” then I open the log to see horrific numbers. Now I do put importance on effort, but great night means better numbers. Is this like an April fool’s joke? I still haven’t opened all the logs from the last few days. In New Orleans there was Essence fest which means the bar sucked. I should probably open those first because the other bars have got to be better. NY is one of the steadiest bars in the system. Lets just say I was shocked by last nights horrific numbers. ” where’s Ashton. I must be getting punked.”
Ok heading home today. Ready to see my little man.

Bam Kevin and I ran a half marathon today in San Diego. When I say Bam, don’t think that I feel strong and powerful. I am exhausted and I am limping, seriously. My time for 13.2 miles was 2 hours and 16 minutes. I am very fucking pleased with that. I ran the first 10k at 59 minutes. So I was doing well , for me. I hit mile 9 and I was struggling. I was trying to pace myself behind these girls who were wearing tootoos with thongs. I was pacing myself watching their butts bounce mile after mile. I don’t give a shit how fit you are, the bare butt running doesn’t look very good. Just my opinion.
When we started out Kevin was ahead of me. Somewhere between mile 10 and 11 Kevin came from behind me to join me. ” Kevin, didn’t you finish already?” He said that early on he cramped up and I had been ahead of him for most of the race. He was using me as his pacer from behind. ” so I actually beat you the first 10 miles?” Awesome!! He was nice and ran the rest of the race by my side so that my clocked time would be faster even though he could of definitely passed me by.
Is it weird that I now want to watch myself run in a thong in the mirror to see how badly my butt looks from behind?
We are mother fucking powerhouses. Next week Coyote Ugly hits the Tough Mudder in Tahoe. ( dont think I Havent noticed the pathetic numbers from some of the bars this weekend.

Most of the bars sucked last night. According to my standards . ” really you needed one more girl ? Is your staff handicapped and can’t serve more then ten people all night ?” When I look at the numbers and see comments like that I think 2 things 1. If you are a manager get behind the bar and help out! 2. You need to teach your girls how to bartend better because a chimp can be by themselves doing a better job.
San Diego is beautiful . But I have done exhaustive research and the two public schools in the New Orleans area are ranked quite high nationally. And my son’s private school has many more accreditations then any school out here . Go figure ? Jackson’s dad just called me ( 50times) ” Liliana your goal is for Jackson to go to Berkley for college . I will fucking kill myself if we stay in New Orleans . I will research an incredible school in SD”

Woke up today and I said to myself ” stop being so ridiculous. Get your ass back to the airport and head to San Diego. So low and behold I am on a layover in Atlanta right now. ” Kevin you want to do a half marathon in SD on Sunday? ” He’s in! Haven’t run more then 2-5 miles in months so I have 3 days to train. Lol it’s called the superheroes costume half marathon. What should I wear? A d what should I convince Kevin to wear? Told my son’s dad that I just registered for this event and I am a bit concerned that I haven’t trained and there will be hills. ( no hills in New Orleans). His response. ” you are a psycho. Psycho trumps hills”

Vacation canceled. Lol. Ok perhaps a work cation . Oh boy

Ok vacation is not off to a good start. I booked Jackson to fly to Raleigh to visit my family. I booked US Air, worst airline ever. We get to the check in desk and they inform me that they only allow an unaccompanied minor on direct flights so he can’t go because he has a connection . ” so why the fuck did you sell me the ticket?” So I had to scramble to get him on another flight. But he is going through Orlando and now I am nervous. Now my flight is delayed and I won’t make my connection . I may just belly up to the bar at this point.
Now the positive is that everyone has acknowledged my vacation except for Kevin. But I expected that . He’s only called me twice . Lol guess what Kevin , if I don’t make my connection in Atlanta I am coming over. Better have some wine ready!” Tough Mudder next week

You are fucking kidding me? Went out to dinner with Chantel. We had steak. Drank some wine . Talked about our kids. She even paid the check. Bam laptop comes out of her bag. ” I thought maybe you would want to look at some of the calendar pics.” I was totally hoodwinked!!! Then she said ” we only have to do a few girls because Lee gave me till July 15th. What? YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME? He was On my ass every Fucking day and he gives her weeks. Unfucking believable !

Has the apocalypse happened? I received an email from Daniel basically saying “I know how it feels to be burnt out. I will only call you if everything is perfect ( so that’s a definite NO CALL) or one of the bars burns down ( please no jinx).” Actually nice to get a nice message from him. It took a long time but Daniel and I are very close now. He’s family. Our Russian partners had changed the Ukraine bar opening several times. While the guilt weighs heavy on me I am not going to the actual opening. I will go in September instead. Daniel and the american staff will have fun. My god they are always so gracious to us. They take us to dinner. We go out for drinks. Jeff and I usually like touristy events. We even went to a strip club in St Petersberg. And last but not least they even buy Daniel McDonalds. Good Luck, have fun.

Oh brother. I went on a dinner date with this nice guy. He’s a personal trainer. At dinner he told me that he makes extra money selling this ” life saving product.” (Oh no, its an Amway scheme.Different company but same scheme.) Well he talked about it and I acted charming and polite. He then asked me if I would come to his next meeting? ” No thank you.” Well that ended the date very quickly. He just texted me asking me out again . Also inquiring why I was so quick to say no to the meeting? My response ” I looked up your product and the main ingredient has positive reviews but I can get that ingredient at GNC without going through the sales scheme.” He then promised not to mention this at our next date. ” No thank you.”

He finally did it! Lee pushed me to my breaking point. Last Friday I landed from OKC with a call from Lee ” did you look at the calendar images?” The next morning ” do you have your calendar picks ready? ” Finally on Sunday I said to Lee that I was feeling a bit burnt out and I would have it all done Friday the 27th by 5 pm. That was Sunday. He has not let up on me all week . He has not only called me at least once a day ( sometimes twice) the incessant texting about the calendar has been overwhelming. Today, I was at a class with Jackson. When I got to the car there was a voicemail from Lee and several text messages. The last one being ” your stunned silence is reassuring.” That’s it! It’s Friday, it’s not 5 pm. I have finished 5 girls and I had plenty of time to finish the rest. I went berserk ! What part of I am a bit burnt out give me till Friday didn’t he understand? Well now I am fucking done. I sent Chantel a text asking her to take over. Had Lee not badgered me till my breaking point he would have it all done by 5 pm central time. Now he will have to wait for Chantel to look at the 4000 images. ” sorry Chantel “.
I am taking off July 3rd-7th. I have decided that I will not answer any work calls or emails. I need a break.

This is Tommy’s concession video to me from our anniversary party challenge. Lol. The bet was that I took three bars and he took three bars. The winner was the person who not only grossed the most cumulatively on their appointed bars’ anniversary party nights. But also which parties were most fun. I was the clear winner. ( he is bombed in this video)

Daniel why on earth are you face timing me?” ” Lil, Tommy and I are out on our new boat and thought it would be cool to FaceTime you while having a drink showing you how beautiful Lake Travis is.” ” Daniel , I only face time Jackson and that’s rarely.” ( For accuracy, I did allow a date to FaceTime me once. ” babe, you know what I look like. “His response was “make sure you don’t have any buggers in your nose and put on some makeup if you want cause we are face timing. ” I took it the other direction, I wore no makeup and had on my pjs. I guess it went well cause we dated a few times after that. )

It was funny that Tommy and Daniel had every intention to practice swimming but they haven’t bought an anchor for their boat yet and felt concerned that the boat might float away. Good for them!

In today’s mail I received a letter from my son.
“I am already home by now so this letter is completely unnecessary. Jackson”
That was it. Not even a “Love Jackson” urgh
Funny email from Mac ( GM Memphis) to all the other GMs entitled. ” Checklist for gms so you don’t get yelled at.” The beauty is that I don’t do the yelling, it’s Daniel they fear. LOL

Horrible flooding in Canada. The distillery that produces Coyote Ugly Whisky is partially submerged.