How the hell was I supposed to know that there is a wetsuit specific to triathlons. My swim coach said ” well I hope you like surfing cause that’s all that wetsuit it worth.” WTF. Fuck surfing! After training in the pool for two weeks for this damn triathlon I don’t even like swimming. I did get my first compliment today. I guess I am getting better at a technique called Sighting. This is how you can continue to swim but glance ahead to stay on course in open water. When I tried it the other day, I would gag on the water . Nothing worse then paying someone that continually makes you feel like you are drowning. It’s as if I booked a reservation at Guantanamo and asked to get water boarded for an hour.
I am glad I didn’t sign my son up for this because I would hate to have that fear that he may drown as well as me. I am not being dramatic but the last two training sessions I have felt scared. What was supposed to be fun is now becoming scary. If I fucking drown, I will be pissed! And dying pissed is against my plans.

Mac, Memphis GM, sent me this text. Beautiful story.
“So when I opened the doors at the bar today there was a bra tied to the handles. It’s from a lady who had survived breast cancer. It had a fake gel insert inside of one side and a cancer pin on the other. Her kids left it at our bar in honor of their mother’s passing.”
I can’t tell you how touched I am that our Memphis bar gave them and their mother joy. So moving.
I wrote my new triple triathlon friend about being discouraged. Feeling slow in every event swimming, running, and biking. His response made my day.
” Lil I remember getting passed in a marathon once and reading the back of the woman’s shirt. “You’re now getting passed by a pregnant woman.” Lol. ” Lil I also got passed in the swimming section by a one legged man. Yes it’s slightly humbling.”

Congrats to Anna. One of our Russian partners. She just had a baby girl, Oriana. So happy for them!!
“Lil I am going to put you in touch with my friend Frank who does triathlons.” This is from my friend Tracy in Key West. He and I have now emailed a few times. Well I decided to look him up. Read this http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/local/wp/2013/04/23/arlingtons-frank-fumich-runs-78-miles-raises-33000-to-benefit-boston-bombing-victims/
My god he is giving me advice on swimming 400 meters when he just ran 3 marathons back to back to raise money for some of the injured in the Boston Marathon. He does Death races and ultra marathoning. He does triple Iron Mans. Nuts. I better up my game. I will definitely donate to this charity as my first step to triathlon success.Crazy

So this guy I met a few weeks ago called me tonight to tell me that he was coming to New Orleans in the next month and he’s taking me out for BBQ and dancing. Just for reference sake, note that Men’s Health magazine rated Beach activities as the #1 hated date by women. Eating BBQ has got to be in the top 10. And while dancing may not rank as high as wearing a bikini in daylight or getting BBQ in your teeth, it makes me cringe since I am such a bad dancer. ” Jackson put on your dance shoes we are taking dance lessons.” Jackson’s response. ” love you but hell no!” LOL

Talk about grateful. I opened my eyes this morning to a deluge of beautiful mother’s day texts and emails. Wow I am moved. Plus my son has gone shopping for me. Cleaned the porch. Washed the dogs. and also ran 3 miles with me. What a beautiful day. Mojo officially back!

The girls in Key West were much better then I expected considering its a newish bar. Really impressed. Bar needs some tweaks. I am hoping by the next time I go there the changes I requested are done. ” Kevin why doesn’t the Freaking outside sign light up?” Urgh “lil the historic commission still hasnt given us the OK for the actual lighting of the sign. ” you are fucking kidding me!
Tonight I took my son and his best friend to sushi for his friend’s birthday. This is the one kid that has been part of our household since they were 4. After sushi Gabe requested Yogurtland for dessert. While we were there I looked down and Gabe barely had any toppings on his yogurt. Dude its your birthday. ” Miss Lil, I know we will go running with you tomorrow and I didn’t want you to add on extra miles if I put too many toppings on.” Oh dear lord, I have inadvertently fucked up his friend too. Crap.
Well Jackson won the PE award for the most pushups without a break. He did 60. So some of this insanity is paying off.

Life’s precious moments! 1. Having your first child 2. Your child’s first words MaMa 3. Having video of the Director of Marketing and retail of Coyote Ugly so drunk making an idiot of himself . Priceless!!
Text from Lee a fee minutes ago “My wake up call this morning. By security asking why I was passed out in the hallway in front of my room door. Awesome “

Lee, Kristina and I went out last night in Key West. We essentially bounced back and forth from Coyote to the bar Irish Kevin’s . When the night was closing, Kristina was asleep at the booth in Coyote and Lee was possibly the drnukest I have ever seen him. Cassie, the GM, actually stationed a bouncer next to me to thwart off these guys who were hounding me. I had to carry Lee back to the hotel. Of course we also stopped by the clothing optional place. Always the fattest people who are naked. Lol

” Mom what’s going on ? You must of lost your mojo since you’re in a dating slump.” That’s glass half empty. I prefer to think of it as freedom to be with myself.. Blah blah blah. Ok right now I need a freaking boyfriend. There is no full length mirror in my hotel room and I need someone to tell me if I look fat in this skirt! Damn
Congrats Jazmine on your baby. So happy for you !

Heading to Key West tomorrow. Check on things. I want to modify the merch store. Refocusing on Houston and Miami.
Text conversation with Mac
Mac:Lil you need to add more complex carbs and protein to your diet with all this extra training.
Me: Mac if I gain one pound on your diet plan I will hunt you down and off you!
Then Lee and I got into it. ” why did you post a clip from Tough Mudder on Facebook rather then the Coyote site? Am I taking crazy pills? Wasn’t the point of videoing the event to drive more traffic to the site? Urgh
Ok doing the Spartan sprint next week. Waiting to get the list of people wanting to join Kevin and I. So far only Jess from Austin is in! Come on people ! It’s only 4 miles. Get off your fat asses . I swear its hard but super fun

This triathlon is going to be harder then anticipated. Started my swim lessons today. The positive is that he said I was a better swimmer then I had advised him. Well that was the last compliment I received. The objective of this triathlon coach is to get the student to do every event faster while using less energy. Do you know how hard it is to reteach yourself a stroke when you have been doing it the same way for years? A few times I actually started choking on water. ” dude drowning in the freaking pool is not an option.” I am exhausted! We did a million different drills. One armed freestyle, freestyle using fists, one arm in but only using your legs, breast stroke, head in, head out. At the end of the drills he said ok swim 100 meters. That seemed like the longest 100 meters ever.
Also at the most basic female level, the outfits are embarrassing. If I actually get into this sport, I will be designing new clothing.
He ended the session with what I can only imagine was a pep talk. ” Ok Lil, the day of the race, you will get yourself through the swim and the bike, then you can just bolt for the run.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I am a super slow runner. LOL
A lot of business direction changes this week. Lee, Jeff, Kevin and myself are refocusing.

Memphis crushing everyone this weekend. Bam. I love that.
Jazzfest was so crowded. I drove by myself to meet up with friends at the Acura stage where Fleetwood Mac was going to play. It took me 1 1/2 hours to walk to their section and then another 1/2 hour to find them. I must be getting old because the crowds and bathroom lines just had me in a foul mood. What’s the point of drinking beer if you have to wait 40 minutes for the rest room?
Bought all my triathlon wardrobe yesterday, I start swimming tomorrow. ” Please let me do the breast stroke. Its the only one I am good at!” This stuff is expensive. I had this idea that you change after the swimming but au contraire, you go straight from swimming to your bike, then straight to running. When I bought the suits the woman at the desk said that the suits were not good in chlorine. Why the Fuck wouldn’t they make suits that can weather a chlorinated pool? Makes no sense.

I loved Pinky’s managers log last night. ” had a problem with attitudes tonight. The veteran girls just keep bitching about the new girls. Maybe if they stop bitching at the new girls they wouldn’t quit. And guess what? If they quit then MORE new girls.” The frustrations of being a Coyote Ugly manager.
Went to a holistic kinesiologist yesterday. She poked and prodded me everywhere. I left sore but for the first time in weeks I wasn’t limping.
Therapist told me that my homework assignment was not to exercise all weekend . She also said I wasn’t to drink and do something I might regret later. Thursday I got pretty drunk and regrets are for the weak ! But I didn’t exercise! Katie and Leslie are a deadly combination to go out with!

After paying my dues and signing up for the Big Easy Sprint Triathlon , I have been trying to find a coach to give me swimming pointers. After sending out many emails I received a response. ” what’s your level of swimming Miss Lovell.” My response ” swimming has always involved a tropical drink and suntan oil.” To be honest the swim part is actually an exaggeration . I usually just hang on the edge of the pool.
What is going on in the Coyote Ugly world today?

Marsha ( GM San Antonio) just lost weight and now the San Antonio staff is doing a weekly weigh in on one of those body mass scales! Good job. The whole company is turning healthy. Makes me so proud. Ernie , GM Milwaukee let weight. People are joining crossfit, running, yoga. So proud